Dear 16-Year-Old Me...

But first, my dog died this Friday. I was happy that he went in his own time. I missed seeing him alive one more time by seconds. I literally just walked into the door when he breathed his last. I'm not sure that I forgive myself for not being a minute quicker. Sorry for the unrelated opening, but I wanted to say it and I don't want my 16 year-old self to know. Now...

Dear 16 Year-Old Me,

Hey hun, what's good? It's you from the future. I'm 22 right now and, God willing, I'll be 23 later this year. I know, right. We made it to 22. We're pretty blessed, huh? Right now you're ecstatic that you made it to 16. I remember being a kid and just wishing that I would at least make it to 16, and there you are, a wish fulfilled. We're capable of living despite ourselves. You should know that. Those stray thoughts never go away, rare as they may be. Just the other day I felt useless at my first week of work (I know, right?!) and the thought did cross my mind to opt out. But I've never acted on those thoughts and don't ever plan to, but they're still there and if I ever got in an accident and my recovery depended on my will to stay alive (does that even happen? I was just watching Bleach for the first time in a year), I don't know if I would do it. I hope that I would be strong enough to live. For now, that is exactly the case. Are you proud of me?

In the love department, nothing good. There were a few hopefuls but man o man, a whole lot of nothing. I'm sorry that I'm so disappointing.

Right now you're worried about learning to drive. I am laughing at you because of it. Sorry. I know that probably hurt your feelings. Our emotions have never been the most...Orthodox. But I know that you will get the hang of it eventually. And you'll never drive as terrible as Yancey.

Oh God, Yancey! He moved to Los Angeles a couple of years ago and he loved it, you'll be happy to know. The whole college thing never really worked out for him and that's going to be a pain in the ass for a few years (for you). Right now he's back home to get a job to pay off his debt. There's going to be a terrible economic recession accompanied by a disconcerting lack of jobs. That will be hovering around your entire college career and it will be unsettling, for you and everyone else in the country. I hope that I can find a good job when I graduate this December (don't look so disappointed. You're graduating!).

You'll forgive you're father. You'll love your mother. And One Piece will just get better with age, so look forward to that!

So here's the thing. I need you to want something for your future. It's the best advice I can give you. I'm not gonna lie, life is going to hit you really hard. More like an airbag than a rock. You are going to be desperate and helpless and I know that nothing is going to piss you off more than that. I know how afraid you are and you are going to have to learn that too. You're also going to have to deal with your financial status as your parents have moved up in the world. But for now, enjoy whatever the hell was good about high school. I've recently made peace with Salpointe and all I have is nostalgia. I know that's not the case for you.

Also, study abroad as soon as you can. Screw the rules, you have me. Just do it. Forget about Japan. Might I suggest Singapore or Australia? And remember, if it all is for naught, just become a chef. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. What else, oh! The summer of your senior year, just kiss him! You know you want to so just do it.

This is the "tell no one" part and the secrets of the future that you'll want to know. Jordan got married about a month ago (by the way she's a perfect 10 now) to a guy you don't know and she is truly doing good. She's moving to Panama City, FL to be with him. Ana and Hayden (HL) get together and have been for years now. I think that they are planning to get married after they graduate. Heli and Chris (I'm not sure if you're to Chris yet) don't make, but she'll be OK. Your senior year will be great with lots of memories.

There is more that I could tell you, but I know that you wouldn't want me to ruin the surprise and trust me, I told you absolutely nothing.

Lots of luv, hugs, kisses,

Karena W.